and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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