its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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