Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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