I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
