toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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