So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
