You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
