do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
