Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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