she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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