So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
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Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
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Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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