i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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