I wanna passion pit in your ass
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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