In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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