Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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