I forgot how hot balto sounded
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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