He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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