drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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