And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
