i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
