You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
