are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
