yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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