Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize