how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
