so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
