suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
