Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
