When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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