gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
