He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Never joke about your clitoris.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize