What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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