speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
