It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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