The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
