He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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