i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
