Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
