now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring