I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..