hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.