You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize