I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
