Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
