if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
