wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
