If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
