took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
i think i just lost a toe
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
