bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
