uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
