clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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