Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize