Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize