When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
