I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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