I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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