paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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