I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
