If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
