I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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