can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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