I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
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Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
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there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
that may or may not have been my penis.
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