I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
