Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
