I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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