he wants to bone in the snuggie
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
