Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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