Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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