Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
