Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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