your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize