so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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