she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
