i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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