C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
